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Every so often, somebody asks me for the chords or lyrics to a song. Okay, well it doesn’t happen that often. But my mom does ask me to enunciate better sometimes. Now I have a place to send her if she doesn’t get the lyrics.

Anyway, the fact is, I don't want you to buy a CD, I want you to learn a song so you can sing it yourself, share the music the way music was meant to be shared (course, it helps to have the CD if you want to learn the song). I guess I’m just tired of all this music as product shit, buy me, download me culture and I just want people to enjoy these songs as their own. (I forget, did I mention there’s a link to CD Baby on the CD page?)

Here are a few tunes from my latest album. Okay, it’s my only album, er CD. But I’ll have another soon and I’ll be posting some more tunes and lyrics soon. Feel free to learn and perform them if you like and if you have any questions or comments about the tunes, feel free to send me an email.

Songs On The CD
Click on an underlined song
to go to the lyrics and chords for the song.

1. Moonboggle Boogie
2. Lost
3. Pretty In Gray
4. She Wants One
5. I Don't Need A Tattoo
6. Smelly Toes

7. City Wolf
8. Two-Headed Calf
9. Die Young Stay Pretty
10. Cockroach
11. Heart Attack Blues
12. Sittin' On Top Of The World

I Don't Need A Tattoo
Copyright 2002 Malcolm Lucard

I was drunk as a sailor
when we first met
I dunno, was it a dare or a bet?
all I know, is when I came to
it was 10 years later, and I still had you
cuz you never got dull
you never did fade
you’re still as bright as the day you was made
who’d a thunk, after all these years
every time I get naked, you’re still here
I know, I know, it’s the thing to do
But I’m telling you baby…
I don’t need a tattoo

You said, ‘Give me baby
Your naked arm
I promise you honey
I won’t do you no harm
Just roll up your sleeve
Take a deep breath
cuz I want to be with you
'til after death.”
I said, ‘no, no honey,
you don’t understand.
You already left your mark on this man.
You pierced my heart, burnt my soul,
scribbled graffiti all over my bones.
So if you don’t mind, put down that tool cuz
I don’t need a tattoo…
I got you.”

Chorus: A7-G7-E9

You’re a goddess, you’re a nymph
you’re the cross I bear
you’re a saint in a burning ring of fire
a mother an anchor
a thorn-crowned heart
a bracelet of old barbed wire
you caress my ankle
cover my ass
ring my neck
lick my belly, oo!
you kiss my cheek
bite my nipple and
and that’s not all you do.
So I don’t need a tattoo …
Cuz baby I got you

Well, maybe I’m a wuss
maybe I don’t like pain
maybe I’m afraid of what my momma’s gonna say
maybe I’m just terrified of permanence and commitment
‘sides my body already bears the scars
of a woman who’s love is a breathing art
a woman who’s love stains my skin
like a thousand needles from a thousand pins,
a woman whose eyes can burn me through
a woman whose smile can turn me blue
so I don’t need a tattoo … cuz baby
I got you

Chorus:

You’re an animated woman ridin’ free
a snake in the talons of an eagle
a circle A, a five pointed star
sharp as the end of a needle
a lotus a rose
skull and bones,
a high-heeled princess
a buxom warrior
a dancer’ that the ancients drew

In 20 years what will I do
when I look in the mirror
and I see you
will I be strong will I be soft?
will the colors of the goddess?
will I take off my shirt
and strut with pride
or wear long robes so I can hide
the fact that you’ve changed me forever?

(Musical notes: The basic chords for the verses are e-m, B major and C major. The chorus is A7, G7, E9…the rest is just fru-fru, harmonics on the 12^th, 7^th and 5^th fret, and so forth. So just make  it up as you see fit.)

The Two-Headed Calf
Copyright 2002 Malcolm Lucard

In Vermont, when I was a kid
there was a flea market at Molly’s Pond
in a barn by an old milk can
a stuffed, two-headed calf did stand
lookin’ kinda dusty by an old rusty plough
and a whole bunch of junk
ya know, I still don’t know how
in my deepest depression
when the whole adds up less than the half
I think about that two-headed calf

Sometimes I feel like I’ve been stuffed
and put up for auction
milk-fed anemic almost to the point of exhaustion
living in a stall too small
for a young human being
eatin all sorts of hormones and nasty things
and in my deepest digression
when life is giving me the shaft
I think about that two-headed calf

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have two brains
I wonder how they thought
if they both thought the same,
died so young must have lived in pain
sad and bewildered captured in the glass of its four startled eyes
and in my deepest confusion
when some stranger stops to laugh
I think about that two-headed calf

Now I’m convinced it was a hoax
by some tricky taxidermist
with a needle and a thread,
I wonder what kind of tourist
what kind of person?
what kind of freak
would take that home in his back seat?
and in my darkest confession
when life is some tacky art and craft
I think about that two-headed calf

Music Notes--
The chords to this songs are pretty much as follows:

dmin / / / BflatM / C / F / x 4
dmin / / / BflatM / / /  / / / /
dmin / / / BflatM / / / G
dmin / BflatM / A / dmin
Instrumental:  dmin / F /  C / F-C, Dmin / C / BflatM / A /

The best way to get a CD of Malcolm’s tunes
is to come to a gig.

But if you can’t make it,
or if you go to the gig and spend all your cash on beer,
then there’s still hope.
You can listen to and buy the CD on line at the following sites:

CDBaby
www.cdbaby.com

HapiSkratch Entertainment
www.hapiskratch.com
 

You can download songs via:

www.rockymountainweed.com

www.bigbenderweed.com
 

My CDs are available at the following retail location:

The Book Broker
Downtown’s best used and new books store.
If you’re a musician, you know that The Book Broker has a great music books section, and unlike Burned & Ignobles, they let punks like me put up posters for gigs.
Please buy your books here!
I’m also available, through Hapiskratch Entertainment,
at various music retail stores in Denver.